Just Joking - How to weigh yourself

To all my Girl Friends,
Look what I have found !
The correct way to weigh yourself ....

So, I have been doing it wrong all these years !!
Unbelievable!! HaHaHa~

Juat Joking - Daddy, how was I born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?" 

 The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall,

and since it was too late to hit the delete button,

nine months later...

a little Pop-Up appeared that said:  

 

 

'You got Male!'

Just Joking - How Quickly The Years Pass ...

 

To anybody who is in the same situation as me ...

wasting time at work, suffering from a hangover, or just suffering from work, that might need a reason to smile!

Life is Short! Break the Rules!  

~ Forgive Quickly ~

  ~ Kiss Slowly ~

~ Love Truly ~

~ Laugh Uncontrollably ~

And ...

 Never Regret Anything That Made You Smile.

 

 

 

Just Joking - Looking For Engineer

 

 

 

 

Just Joking - 4 Stages of Life

 

 

Sound familiar ?

 

Just Joking - Good Cheap Fast

 

 

 

This is true, in real life, well at least in my company.  We provide product software and services to customers, who always demand
Good product,  expect Fast delivery service but yet only willing to pay that for a very Cheap price.

 

Just Joking - Best Divorce Letter

 

 

Dear wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.

I've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell; your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great day.

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice your hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my sister because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica but when I got home you were gone.  
 
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.

My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem

Just Joking - Generation Y

 

The Silent Generation
People born between 1925 and 1945 

 

 

The Baby Boomers

People born between 1946 and 1964

 

 

 

 

 

Generation X

People born between 1965 and 1982

 

 

 

 

 

Generation Y

People born between 1983 and 1997

 

Why do we call the last group of people Generation Y?

 

I had no idea until I saw this, and it all became clear...

 

hahaha!

 

Just Joking - They Found Water On Mars !!!

My friends have told me that Water can be found on Mars !!!

They have even sent me a picture to prove the tremendous discovery!!!

So, here's the picture~  

Just Joking - "O' Dear God I Love Kids"

Now you know why God love kids so much...

 

Just Joking - Single

Remember few days ago, I have shared with you those "funny yet true" views of marriage?
 Now, here's the "single" version.

Probably some of the points you may agree and some you may not. Well, don't take it too seriously... that's just life.

Everyone has his/her choice of how he/she wants his/her life to be

 

 

Single

 

Single means you have the time to grow and be the person you want to be.

 

Single gives you space to grow. It is harder to grow when you are too close to someone.

 

Single means learning to live by yourself.

 

Single means freedom.

 

Single means learning not to need a man/woman to make your life meaningful.

 

Single is realizing that being married is not necessarily better.

 

Single means that there could be something wonderful around the corner and you can take advantage of it.

 

Single means you are free to love again.

 

Single means you have more time to care for other people.

 

 

Just Joking - Marriage

 

Marriage

 

Marriage is not a word, but a sentence (life sentence).

Marriage is very much like a violin, after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love, love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage life is full of excitement and frustration. In the first year, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. And in the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

It is true that love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You ordered what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wished you had ordered that.

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking, the husband gives and the wife takes.

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married, he is finished.

Just Joking - Mummy's Favourite

You should be able to tell who is Mummy's favourite.
 

 

Just Joking - Believe Me

Look at me in the eye, and believe me when I say, "I did not eat that mouse!"