Saturday, September 13, 2008

Window 窗



 
Window
 
Here's a very thoughtful story which I have read and I would like to share with everyone.

Different people may have different interpretation of the story. Good or bad, is up to you to decide, I would prefer to consider it as an encouragement story...

"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up!"

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his room-mate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
 
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Then unexpectedly, a sinister thought entered his mind. Why should the other man alone experience all the pleasures of seeing everything while he himself never got to see anything? It didn't seem fair. At first thought the man felt ashamed. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and he found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window - that thought, and only that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running in. In less than five minutes the coughing and choking stopped, along with that the sound of breathing. Now there was only silence-deathly silence.

The following morning the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take it away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Moral of the story: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.





窗
 
两个病重的男人,住在同一间医院病房,其中一个被允许每天下午坐在床上一个钟头,以便清理肺里的液体。他的床位於房中唯一的窗口旁边。另一位则需整天背躺在床上,两人时时交谈数个小时。他们谈各自的妻子,家庭,工作,从军的往事,渡假的地方。。。每一天下午,窗口旁的病人坐著时,总描述窗外所看到的一切给角落的病人听。在一个又一个小时里,角落床上病人的世界,被述说的窗外活动及色彩,变得更广阔及有生气。。。那窗面对著一个可爱的花园及湖, 鸭及鹅在湖上嬉戏,孩子们在玩著小船。在彩虹般颜色的花丛中,年轻的恋人手握著手在散步,巨大的老树点托著风景,在远处亦可看到美丽城市的一栋栋大厦。

当窗口旁的病人描述著景物时,躺在房角的病人,便关起双眼想像那优美的景色。在一个炎热的下午,窗边的病人描述著一群游行队的经过。虽然角落的病人听不见游行队的喧哗,他的脑海却浮现著那热闹的情景。当那位窗旁的伸士以非常吸引人的字眼述说著时,一个非常自私的念头突然拥进他的脑中:“为什麼只有他可独自欣赏窗外的景色,而我却什麼都看不见,太不公平了!”他起初为自己的想法感到羞耻,然而一天又一天的过去,失去欣赏越来越多的窗外的景色,使他的妒忌变成了愤恨,很快的使他心中怒火燃烧。他开始胡思乱想,无法入睡,他想:“我应该睡在窗旁边!”这思想不断地控制著他。

一个深夜,他躺著呆盯著天花板,听到窗口病人的咳嗽声,肺里的液体使窗口病人呼吸困难在昏暗的房间里,他看著窗口病人挣扎,摸索求救的按钮。他听著,动也不动地躺著,亦不按动床头的按钮,以招唤护士的到来。咳嗽声五分钟後停止,呼吸声亦停止,接著是死般的沉静。。。

第二天早上,护士提著洗澡水进房,当她看到窗口旁已死的病人时,她感到悲伤。当她把屍体移悼时,角落的病人马上要求把他的床位移到窗旁。护士离去後,他慢慢地,痛苦地撑起上身,想看看窗外的世界。“多高兴啊,终干可看到窗外的景物!”他想。他慢慢地转身,向窗外望出去,他看到的只是一道高墙!!!

他不禁责问护士,为何死去的病人能看到那麼多美好的东西,及说了那麼多给他听。

护士说:“他是盲的,他连墙也看不见!他也许只是想鼓励你!”


Saturday, September 6, 2008

Picture Perfect - Wet


Picture Perfect Friday 2008
Theme : Wet
Camera : Canon PowerShot S5 IS
Date Taken : 2008 Mar


 


Days and nights, I hang there,
Rain or shine, I go no where.
Helping to dry the clothes that you wear,
Sometimes too much loads that I hardly bear.
But not a single word to speak I dare,
as I am just a wet rod that nobody care.


Thanks for viewing my PPF page.  Have a Nice Day !
Join in This Week Fun =>> FotoFriday's Picture Perfect Friday

Winners and Losers




Winners say, If it is to be, it is up to me.
Losers say, I can't help it.

Winners translate dreams into reality.
Losers translate reality into dreams.

Winners empower.
Losers control.

Winners say, Let's find out.
Losers say, Nobody knows.

Winners are part of the solution.
Losers are part of the problem.
 
Winners are not afraid of losing.
Losers are afraid of wining.
 
Winners work harder than losers.
Losers are always too busy.

Winners say, I was wrong.
Losers say, It was not my fault.

Winners want to.
Losers have to.

Winners always make time.
Losers often waste time.
 
Winners say, I'll plan to do that.
Losers say, I'll try to do that.
 






Winners say, I'm good but not as good as I can be.
Losers say, I'm not as bad as a lot of other people.
 
Winners listen to what others say.
Losers wait until it's their turn to talk.
 
Winners catch others doing things right.
Losers catch others doing things wrong.
 
Winners learn from others.
Losers resent their colleagues.
 
Winners see opportunities.
Losers see only the problems.
 
Winners do it.
Losers talk about it.
 
Winners feel responsible for more than their jobs.
Losers frequently state, I only work here.
 
Winners say, There ought to be a better way.
Losers say, That's the way it's always been done.
 
Winners celebrate others.
Losers complain about others.
 
Winners are willing to pay the price.
Losers expect it on a silver platter.
 
Winners always expect success.
Losers always expect failure.
 


Friday, September 5, 2008

1000 Marbles



1000 Marbles

Here's another article which I have come across some years back, and I would like to share with all.
Have you ever think of how many marbles do you have?


The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, of maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the kitchen, with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time.

Let me tell you about it. I turned the volume up on my radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning talk show. I heard an older sounding chap with a golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business himself.


He was talking about “a thousand marbles” to someone named “Tom”. I was intrigued and sat down to listen to what he had to say. “Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital.” He continued, “Let me tell you something Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities.” And that's when he began to explain his theory of “a thousand marbles.”

“You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.

Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900 which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime.”

“Now stick with me Tom, I'm getting to the important part. It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail”, he went on, “and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round-up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container right here in my workshop next to the radio. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away.”

“I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.

Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next Saturday then God has blessed me with a little extra time to be with my loved ones......”

“It was nice to talk to you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your loved ones, and I hope to meet you again someday. Have a good morning!”

You could have heard a pin drop when he finished. Even the show's moderator didn't have anything to say for a few moments. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to do some work that morning, then go to the gym. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. “C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast.”

“What brought this on?” she asked with a smile.

“Oh, nothing special,” I said. “It has just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles.”

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Somebody



Right Now -


somebody is very proud of you.
somebody is thinking of you.
somebody is caring about you.
somebody misses you.
somebody wants to talk to you.
somebody wants to be with you.
somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.
somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
somebody wants to hold your hand.
somebody hopes everything turns out all right.

somebody wants you to be happy.
somebody wants you to find him/her.
somebody is celebrating your successes.
somebody wants to give you a gift.
somebody thinks that you ARE a gift.
somebody hopes you're not too cold, or too hot
somebody wants to hug you.
somebody loves you.
somebody admires your strength.
somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.
somebody wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun.
somebody thinks the world of you.
somebody wants to protect you.
somebody would do anything for you.
somebody wants to be forgiven.
somebody is grateful for your forgiveness.
somebody wants to laugh with you.
somebody remembers you and wishes that you were there.
somebody is praising God for you.
somebody needs to know that your love is unconditional.
somebody values your advice.
somebody wants to tell you how much they care.
somebody wants to share their dreams with you.
somebody wants to hold you in their arms.
somebody wants YOU to hold them in your arms.
somebody treasures your spirit.
somebody wishes they could STOP time because of you.
somebody praises God for your friendship and love.
somebody can't wait to see you.

somebody loves you for who you are.
somebody loves the way you make them feel.
somebody wants to be with you.
somebody wants you to know they are there for you.
somebody's glad that you're his/her friend.
somebody wants to be your friend.
somebody stayed up all night thinking about you.
somebody is alive because of you.
somebody is wishing that you noticed him/her.
somebody wants to get to know you better.
somebody wants to be near you.
somebody misses your advice/guidance.

somebody has faith in you.
somebody trusts you.
somebody needs you to send them this letter
somebody needs your support.
somebody needs you to have faith in them.
somebody will cry when they read this.
somebody needs you to let them be your friend.
somebody hears a song that reminds them of you.

P U S H



P U S H

When everything seems to go wrong, just PUSH.

When the job gets you down, just PUSH.


When people just don't understand you, just PUSH.


When people don't react the way you think they should, just PUSH.


When you have done so many for them but they still don’t appreciate, just PUSH.


When you want to tell them off for whatever the reason, just
PUSH.



So, what does PUSH stand for ?


Pray Until Something Happens


Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Teacher


 
The Teacher
 
Here's a story which I would like to share with all of you, including the dearest teachers around the world (1st September here is our Teachers' Day).
I have read this story,
both English and Chinese versions, few years ago.  I believe you might have read it before, too.
Stories like this always have a way of putting the right perspective on live and always touches my heart very deeply.
 
Jean Thompson stood in front of her fifth-grade class on the very first day of school in the fall and told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her pupils and said that she loved them all the same, that she would treat them all alike. And that was impossible because there in front of her, slumped in his seat on the third row, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed he didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were not kept and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy was unpleasant.

It got to the point during the first few months that she would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then marking the F at the top of the paper biggest of all. Because Teddy was a sullen little boy, no one else seemed to enjoy him, either.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's records and put Teddy's off until last. When she opened his file, she was in for a surprise. His first-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright, inquisitive child with a ready laugh." "He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be around."
His second-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."
His third-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy continues to work hard but his mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."
Teddy's fourth-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class. He is tardy and could become a problem."
By now Mrs. Thompson realized the problem, but Christmas was coming fast. It was all she could do, with the school play and all, until the day before the holidays began and she was suddenly forced to focus on Teddy Stoddard.
Her children brought her presents, all in beautiful ribbon and bright paper, except for Teddy's, which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper of a scissored grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents.
Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of cologne. She stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume behind the other wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed behind just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my mom used to."
After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing, and speaking. Instead, she began to teach children. Jean Thompson paid particular attention to one they all called "Teddy."
As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. On days where there would be an important test, Mrs. Thompson would remember that cologne. By the end of the year he had become one of the smartest children in the class and...well, he had also become the "pet" of the teacher who had once vowed to love all of her children exactly the same.
A year later she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that of all the teachers he'd had in elementary school, she was his favorite. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy.
He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still his favorite teacher of all time.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson she was still his favorite teacher.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still his favorite teacher, but that now his name was a little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.
The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that Spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering...well, if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the pew usually reserved for the mother of the groom. And guess what, she wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And I bet on that special day, Jean Thompson smelled just like...well, just like the way Teddy remembered his mother smelling on their last Christmas together.
THE MORAL: You never can tell what type of impact you may make on another life by your actions or lack of action. Consider this fact in your venture through life.


 
老师

玛丽安是个国小五年级的老师,她的班上来了一位名叫迪克的转学生。

玛丽安老师第一眼,就很不喜欢迪克,因为他衣服肮脏、头发长长,身上还有一股臭味!

而功课,也是落後一大段,每次批改迪克的作业,心里就有点恼怒-「怎麽这麽笨,涂涂改改、写得乱七八糟!」所以玛丽安老师就用大红的笔,在迪克写错的地方一圈又一圈地画着!

当然,玛丽安老师未曾明说她对迪克的憎恶与讨厌,她只是不断地在作业簿上画着红色的大圈圈,也常在发作业簿时,听到其他同学对迪克的嘲笑与鄙视。

小迪克实在不知道老师为什麽不喜欢他?事实上,老师也不曾找过他谈话,更不曾到他家做家庭访问。

 
一晃眼,耶诞节到了,按照习俗,每个小朋友都会准备一份耶诞礼物给老师。那天,是耶诞节放假前的最後一堂课,小朋友都将包裹好的礼物放在教室里的耶诞树下,等待老师打开。玛丽安老师是「善解人意」的,她每打开一份精美漂亮的礼物时,脸上就露出惊讶、兴奋的表情,班上小朋友的尖叫声,也不断伴随着。

最後,小迪克的礼物,是用普通装三明治的褐色盒子包起来的,外表的包装,一看就很粗俗、简陋,上面还写着「迪克送给玛丽安老师的礼物」字样。当老师拿起这礼物时,全班都静默无声,专注地看老师打开,里面是什麽礼物?盒子一打开,里头有两样东西掉落桌上,一个是缺了几个小钻石的「人造水晶钻石手镯」,另一个,像是在廉价店里买的「只剩半瓶的香水」。

此时,小朋友传来一阵讪笑声...

玛丽安老师很是失望,但她没有勇气看着小迪克,只是顺手将手镯戴上,也挤出一、两滴香水,故意大方地擦在耳後...。没多久,下课铃声响了,小朋友们急着回家度耶诞假期,「明年见罗!」

当所有小朋友都离开教室时,小迪克畏畏缩缩地走到老师旁边,轻轻地说:「老师,你 身上的香水味,好香,就像我妈妈生前的味道一样...而她的手镯,戴在你手上,真的好漂亮,我好高兴你会喜欢它!」说完,一溜烟,就飞奔出教室。

玛丽安老师听了,愣傻了眼,半天说不出话来;她,坐下来,痛哭了一场-在过去的日子,她竟剥夺了一个没有母亲的孩子,应有的关心与照顾。

耶诞节後,玛丽安老师为了弥补良心上的亏欠,就在每天放学後,帮小迪克补习功课。

七年後,玛丽安老师收到迪克的第一封信,写着:
「亲爱的老师,你是第一个知道,我将在下个月以第二名成绩从高中毕业的人...」

再过四年,迪克又给玛丽安老师写第二封信:
「亲爱的老师,我希望让您第一个知道,我将以班上总成绩第一名毕业;四年大学不容易念,但我还是念完了...」

时间飞逝,不久後,迪克又来了第三封信:


「亲爱的老师,从今天开始,我就是『迪克医生』了!我将在七月二十七日结婚,我想请您来参加婚礼,坐在我母亲在该坐的地方!我已经没有亲人了,我父亲在去年已离世...您的学生迪克上」




Just Joking - Single




Remember few days ago, I have shared with you those "funny yet true" views of marriage?
 Now, here's the "single" version.

Probably some of the points you may agree and some you may not. Well, don't take it too seriously... that's just life.

Everyone has his/her choice of how he/she wants his/her life to be


 
 
Single
 
Single means you have the time to grow and be the person you want to be.
 
Single gives you space to grow. It is harder to grow when you are too close to someone.
 
Single means learning to live by yourself.
 
Single means freedom.
 
Single means learning not to need a man/woman to make your life meaningful.
 
Single is realizing that being married is not necessarily better.
 
Single means that there could be something wonderful around the corner and you can take advantage of it.
 
Single means you are free to love again.
 
Single means you have more time to care for other people.

 
 

The Story About Women



I would like to share the following article “About Women” with all my dearest friends, especially my girlfriends, who help make my life work. 
 

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother.

As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

"Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised, swirling the tealeaves to the bottom of her glass.

"They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you'll have, you are still going to need girlfriends. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.”

“What a funny piece of advice,” the young woman thought. “Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman for goodness sake, a grownup, not a young girl who needs girlfriends! Surely my husband and the family we'll start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'”

But she listened to her Mother; she kept contact with her girlfriends and made more each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about.

As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, girlfriends are the mainstays of her life.


Times passes…
Life happens…
Distance separates…
Children grow up…Love waxes and wanes…
Hearts break…
Careers end…Jobs come and go…
Parents die…
Colleagues forget favors…
Men don't call when they say they will…

BUT…
Girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.

A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it by yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still...

 
 

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Three Trees

 
 
 
The Three Trees

I would like to share this special story with you...


Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty."

Then the second tree said "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength
of my hull."

Finally the third tree said. "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me.."

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter." and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.

At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsman said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one" and he cut it down.

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end.
The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark.

The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams. Then one day, a man and women came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the king of kings in it's boat.

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.
The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined.

 

Monday, September 1, 2008

十八只狐狸吃葡萄的故事



 
十八只狐狸吃葡萄的故事

曾经读过一篇我觉得非常富有哲理的小故事,因此转载到这里希望能与朋友们分享。也许对大家在生活或工作中遇到某些难题时,可以借鉴,慢慢思考,去面对或解决或那些问题。
 
在一位农夫的果园里,紫红色的葡萄挂满了枝头,令人垂涎欲滴,当然,这种美味也逃不过安营扎寨在附近的狐狸们,它们早就想享受一下了。

第一只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它发现葡萄架要远远高出它的身高。它站在下面想了想,不愿就此放弃,机会难得啊!想了一会儿,它发现了葡萄架旁边的梯子,回想农夫曾经用过它。因此,它也学着农夫的样子爬上去,顺利地摘到了葡萄。
(这只狐狸采用的就是问题解决方式,它直接面对问题,没有逃避,最后解决了问题。)
 
第二只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它也发现以它的个头这一辈子是无法吃到葡萄了。因此,它心里想,这个葡萄肯定是酸的,吃到了也很难受,还不如不吃。于是,它心情愉快地离开了。
(这只狐狸运用的是心理学当中经常提到的“酸葡萄效应”,也可以称为文饰作用或合理化解释,即以能够满足个人需要的理由来解释不能实现自我目标的现象。)
 
第三只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它刚刚读过《钢铁是怎样炼成的》,深深地被主人公的精神打动。它看到高高的葡萄架并没有气馁,它想:我可以向上跳,只要我努力,我就一定能够得到。“有志者事竟成”的信念支撑着它,可是事与愿违,它跳得越来越低,最后累死在了葡萄架下,献身做了肥料。
(这只狐狸的行为,在心理学上我们称为“固执”,即反复重复某种无效的行为,有时我们也称它为强迫症。它说明,不是任何事情的最佳方案都是解决问题,要看自己的能力、当时的环境等多种因素。)
 
第四只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,一看到葡萄架比自己高,愿望落空了,便破口大骂,撕咬自己能够得到的藤,正巧被农夫发现,一铁锹把它拍死了。
(这只狐狸的行为我们称它为“攻击”,这是一种不可取的应对方式,于人于己都是有害无利的。)
 
第五只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它一看自己的身高在葡萄架下显得如此渺小,便伤心地哭起来了。它伤心为什么自己如此矮小?如果像大象那样,不是想吃什么就吃什么吗?它伤心为什么葡萄架如此高,自己辛辛苦苦等了一年,本以为能吃到,没想到是这种结果。
(这只狐狸的表现我们在心理学上称之为“倒退”,即个体在遇到挫折时,从人格发展的较高阶段到人格发展的较低阶段。)
 
第六只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它仰望着葡萄架,心想,既然我吃不到葡萄,别的狐狸肯定也吃不到,如果这样的话,我也没什么好遗憾的了,反正大家都一样。
(这只狐狸的行为在心理学中称之为“投射”,即把自己的愿望与动机归于他人,断言他人有此动机和愿望,这些东西往往都是超越自己能力范围的。)
 
第七只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它站在高高的葡萄架下,心情非常不好,它在想为什么我吃不到呢,我的命运怎么这么悲惨啊,想吃个葡萄的愿望都满足不了,我的运气怎么这么差啊?越想它越郁闷,最后郁郁而终。
(这只狐狸的情况是“抑郁症”的表现,即以持久的心境低落状态为特征的神经性障碍。)
 
第八只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它尝试着跳起来去够葡萄没有成功,它试图让自己不再去想葡萄,可是它抵抗不了,它还试了一些其他的办法也没有见效。它听说有别的狐狸吃到了葡萄,心情更加不好,最后它一头撞死在葡萄架下。
(这只狐狸的下场是由于它心理不平衡造成的,在现实生活中我们经常会遇到类似的“不患无,患不均”的现象。很多人在与别人比较的时候,因为心理不平衡选择了不适当的应对方式。)
 
第九只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,同样是够不到葡萄。它心想,听别的狐狸说,柠檬的味道似乎和葡萄差不多,既然我吃不到葡萄,何不尝一尝柠檬呢,总不能在一棵树上吊死吧!因此,它心满意足地离开去寻找柠檬了。
(这只狐狸的行为在心理学上我们称之为“替代”,即以一种自己可以达到的方式来代替自己不能满足的愿望。)
 


 
第十只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它看到自己的能力与高高的葡萄架之间的差距,认识到以现在的水平和能力想吃到葡萄是不可能的了,因此它决定利用时间给自己充电,报了一个研究生课程进修班,学习采摘葡萄的技术,最后当然是如愿以偿了。
(这只狐狸采用的是问题指向应对策略,它能够正确分析自己与问题的关系和性质,找到最佳的解决方案,是一种比较好的应对方式。)

第十一只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它同样也面临着相同的问题。它转了一下眼睛,把几个同伴骗了来,然后趁它们不注意,用铁锹将它们拍昏,将同伴摞起来,踩着同伴的身体,如愿以偿地吃到了葡萄。
(这只狐狸虽然最后也解决了问题,但它是在损害他人利益的基础上来解决的,这种应对方式不可取。)

第十二只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,这是一只漂亮的狐狸小姐。它想我一个弱女子无论如何也够不到葡萄了,我何不利用别人的力量呢?因此,它找了一个男朋友,这只狐狸先生借助梯子给了狐狸小姐最好的礼物。

(这在心理学上称为“补偿原则”,即利用自己另一方面的优势或是别人的优势来弥补自己的不足,这种方式在一些情境下也不失为一种好方法。)

第十三只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它对葡萄架的高度非常不满,这导致了它不能尝到甜美的葡萄,于是它就怪罪起葡萄藤来。说因为葡萄藤太好高骛远,爬那么高,说葡萄的内心其实并没有表面看上去那么漂亮。发泄完后,它平静地离开了。
(这只狐狸的行为在心理学上我们可以称之为“抵消作用”,即以从事某种象征性的活动来抵消、抵制一个人的真实感情。)

第十四只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,发现自己无法吃到自己向往已久的葡萄,看到地上落下来已经腐烂的葡萄和其他狐狸吃剩下的葡萄皮,它轻蔑地看着这些,作呕吐状,嘴上说:“真让人恶心,谁能吃这些东西啊!”
(这只狐狸的行为在心理学上我们称之为“反向作用”,即行为与动机完全相反的一种心理防御机制。)

第十五只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它既没有破口大骂,也没有坚持不懈地往上跳,而是发出了感叹,美好的事物有时候总是离我们那么远,这样有一段距离,让自己留有一点幻想又有什么不好的呢?于是它诗性大发,一本诗集从此诞生了!
(这只狐狸的行为在心理学上我们称之为“置换作用”,即用一种精神宣泄去代替另一种精神宣泄。)

第十六只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它发现想吃葡萄的愿望不能实现后,不久便产生了胃痛、消化不良的情况。这只狐狸一直不明白一向很注意饮食的它,怎么会在消化系统出现问题。
(这只狐狸发生的情况在心理学中我们可以称之为“转化”,即个体将心理上的痛苦转换成躯体上的疾病。)

第十七只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,也发现了同样的问题,它嘴一撇,说:“这有什么了不起的,我们狐狸中已经有人吃过了,谁说只有猴子能吃到果子,狐狸一样行!”
(这只狐狸所表现的言行是一种情绪取向的应对方式,在心理学中我们可称之为“傍同作用”,即当自我价值低于他人价值时,寻找与自己有关系的人来实现自我价值。)
 
第十八只狐狸来到了葡萄架下,它心想,我自己吃不到葡萄,别的狐狸来了也吃不到葡萄,为什么我们不学习猴子捞月的合作精神呢?它们有猴子捞月,我们有狐狸摘葡萄,说不定也会成为千古佳话呢!于是它动员所有想吃葡萄的狐狸合作,搭成狐狸梯,这样大家都吃到了甜甜的葡萄。
(这只狐狸采取的是问题取向的应对方式,它懂得合作的道理,最终的结果既利于自己,又利于大家。)