Just married? or going to get married? Find out how you can strengthen and grow your love – right from the start...
1 To Disagree Lovingly
This means being focused, fair and objective when putting across your points. Use an even and non accusatory tone. Avoid personal attacks and finger-pointing – instead, channel your negative energy to constructive problem-solving.
2 Define Your Roles And Responsibilities Early On
With double-incomes the norm in modern families, the line between ‘his’ and ‘her’ role is thus blurred, and misunderstandings can arise as to who is ‘supposed’ to do what. So prioritise your tasks based on your needs and abilities. Generally, the person who can get the job done more efficiently takes on the task. Be fair and don’t ‘overload’ one spouse.
3 Think The Best Of Your Partner
A healthy dose of give-and-take can go a long way in avoiding petty arguments. Trust your partner – have faith that he/she has only the best intentions, and will make the right decisions. This is the secret to great marital bliss and fulfilment – when two stand united and committed as one.
4 Be Aware Of Gender Differences
Couples need to know that they are designed and programmed to play different but complementary roles to each other. They need to acknowledge these differences and accept them instead of trying to change each other at the core.
5 Open A “Relationship” Bank Account
A relationship is like a bank account. When things are well between two people, their ‘account’ grows with regular love ‘deposits’. When things deteriorate, they will be ‘drawing’ on the good feelings in their shared account. Once it is emptied, the relationship is in serious trouble.
6 Schedule Exclusive “You And Me” Time
Husband-and-wife personal time can be 15 minutes after dinner on a daily basis, complemented by a date night every month, and a longer weekend getaway every half a year, or even plan an annual retreat by checking into a local hotel, minus the kids. Marriage is a “long-term investment” which needs consistent, conscious and careful planning.
7 Take An Interest In Your Partner’s Emotional Well Being
Many a time, we miss the forest for the trees in our relationships. Most physical ailments are indicators of unresolved emotional issues. Couples must take active interest in each other’s emotional health as it will fortify the physical wellbeing and enhance the marriage.”
8 Know Yourself Better
If you know what makes you happy, and can communicate this to your spouse, it gives him/her the opportunity to accept and support you for who you really are, and love you for yourself.
9 Count To 10 Before You Lash Out In Anger
Very often, it is not what you say that will make your partner angry – it is how you say it. So whenever you feel challenged in a situation, step back and count to 10 before continuing the argument. This gives you time to compose yourself and think things through.
10 Don’t Go To Bed Angry With Each Other
Anger and ill-feeling have a way of festering over time. It’s always advisable to sort out any differences as soon as possible – that is, after both parties have cooled down, and are ready to proceed to the discussion and problem-solving stage.
Above are extracted from a magazine “Just Married – Live it. Love it”, published by Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.
